Is this it?
by erdi99
Summary: AU Charloe. Bass is gone too often from home and Charlie's had it. The divorce is imminent, or is it? Will they dind their way back to each other or is this it?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note**

**Okay, so this popped in my head yesterday as I was reading Charloe FF.**

**It is AU and Bass is a just 15 years older than Charlie. If you guys want me to continue just drop a comment.**

**If I continue this story it will be a few weeks, because I still have a couple of other stories to warp up and RL gets in the way of it too.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"What's going on Charlie?" My mom asks as she hands me a cup of coffee and comes to sit at the kitchen table next to me.

"Bass and I getting a divorce, Mom" I say with sadness in my voice. After eight years together I have called it quits. I don't see another way anymore.

"I knew from the beginning he would do something to hurt you!" My Mother launches into a lecture that she has giving me countless of times, since Bass and I got together.

"Mom…MOM!" I almost shout to stop her mid-sentence. "He hasn't done anything. It is me who has to get out of this marriage. I can't do it anymore."

"Oh Honey, of course it is his fault. After all he is always gone; leaving you with Alex alone at home." Rachel Matheson has never liked Sebastian Monroe. She never once had a good thing to say about him.

"Mom…" I sigh and take a sip of my coffee. "I am only here, so you hear it from me personally and not from a third party. And Bass did what he had to do to support us, since I was still at University as I got pregnant. So please drop it!"

"Fine" My mother huffs and gets up "Do you need anything? Are you going to move back in here?"

"I have found a house to rent and I will be moving there tomorrow. We are going to put the house on the market. I just need you to watch Alex tomorrow so I can get everything done." I inform her. I have been dreading this talk with my mother.

"Yeah…no worries, whatever you need." She tells me and I nod. Time to leave. There is still so much to do.

"He finishes school at 1 Pm and I need you to pick him up. I will pick him up tomorrow night." I walk over to my mother and give her a peck on the cheek, before I leave her house.

Bass and I have been separated for the past month and the divorce papers came last week. I have yet to sign them.

I can't seem to bring myself to pick up the pen and just put my signature on the dotted line. Eight years together, parents for six and married for five.

The only thing I know is that I can't live like this anymore. We don't have a marriage anymore. He is only home for a couple of days a month, before he goes out for another job. He is a civilian contractor for the army, handling dogs which sniff for bombs.

He used to work at an auto shop, but I got pregnant as I was still at University and we needed the money. Bass was supposed to take on only a few of these tours, so that we could safe up money to buy a house. But the money was too good and he wanted to give Alex and me a good life.

Bass changed a lot since he took that job. He has become quieter, loud noises startle him and he has nightmares. I don't even want to begin to imagine what it must be like over there in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I think part of the reason why he goes back out soon after he gets home, is so those nightmares stop, because he has too much time to think when he is at home.

As I get home the house is silent. Our son is at school and Bass is in Iraq, again, which leaves me alone with my thoughts. Which is not a good thing at the moment, because I keep asking myself what could I have done better! Could I have prevented this? These questions are on repeat in my mind 24/7.

My eyes sting as I pack up the rest of mine and Alex's stuff, but no tears come out. There are no tears left to cry, even if I wanted to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note**

**I apologize for the long time between updates, but I wanted to wrap up my other two stories, before focusing on this one.**

**Thank all of you for the reviews, followers and favorites. I am glad I can continue this story **

**I have not been in the military and all military regarding things in this story are purely based on research and my own imagination. I apologize if I got something wrong!**

**Enjoy and stay tuned, because there is more to come!**

**p.s: This story was inspired by another story from a different fandom: The Way We Were by MD14 (Rookie blue)**

* * *

**Sebastian's POV**

"Bass….Bass" Miles shakes my shoulders and I groan.

"What?" I growl and carefully open my eyes. My head is hurting from last nights bender and the loud noises my best friend is making at the moment aren't really helping.

"You know what time it is?" He questions and I throw a brief glance at my wrist watch. My eyes grow big in shock and I throw the blanket off me and get up. Unfortunately my head doesn't agree with the quick movements and I have to sit back down.

"Shit…I didn't hear my alarm….I am going to be late!" I sigh and hang my head low. This is only the second time, I get to spend some time with my son since Charlie left me three months ago.

I just got state side yesterday and went out for a couple of beers with my colleagues. Unfortunately a couple of beers turned into shots and shots turned into me getting home at 0400 hours.

"Instead of drowning your sorrows every time you come home, maybe you should get your act together and fight for your wife and child, you idiot!" Miles says, loud enough for me to wince again. "And tell me again why you are staying at my place, when you have a big house?"

"I can't stay there, I told you!" I say as I get up and make my way to the bathroom. It has to be a quick shower, or I will be majorly late, to pick up my son.

Miles thankfully doesn't press the issue and leaves me be. The reason I don't want to stay at our house is, that I can't stand to be there. Everything there reminds me of Charlie and Alex and how much I fucked up. And I don't know how to make it right.

I took this job, so I could give her and Alex a good life, but had I known what this job would do to me and what it would cost me, I wouldn't have taken it.

With I sigh, I step into the shower, forcing myself not to think about that now.

* * *

Ten minutes late, I pull up in front of Charlie's house. I can see that Alex is already waiting for me on the front steps with a long face, which makes me feel even worse. As I walk up the path, Charlie comes out to meet me. "Hey… he thought you wouldn't make it!"

"I am here now aren't I?" I reply harshly. I am angry at her for leaving me and I am angry at myself that I allowed this to happen. I always promise myself I will be nice and civil when I see her, but that goes out the window as soon as I get within a few meters of her.

"Yeah…" she huffs out "Are you able to take him to school on Monday?"

"Yes" I answer shortly and then focus on my son. "Wow…you have gotten taller!"

Alex rolls his eyes and shoulders his bag. "Told you dad, but you didn't believe me!"

I smile at him and take the bag Charlie is handing me. "Have good weekend, honey" Charlie says and peppers Alex with kisses.

"Moooom…stop" Alex tries to bold but Charlie catches him. The scene that plays out right in front of me makes my heart hurt. _I miss this_.

"What? You are to cool for kisses from your mother?" She questions laughing, places another kiss on top of his head before she releases him. "Have fun!"

I nod at her and then walk Alex to my truck. I help him into the back, put his stuff into the trunk and then get into the driver's seat.

"What are we doing this weekend, Dad?" Alex questions the minute I get behind the wheel.

"I thought we could go camping. Uncle Miles is going to come too and we will have a boys weekend" I tell him and glance briefly into the rearview mirror.

"Sounds great, dad" He replies, but his face says he isn't thrilled about this.

"You don't like the idea?" I question.

"It is just… forget it" Alex says and looks out the window.

"Tell me…what did you had in mind?" I ask and turn around as I stop at a red light.

"There is a comic book and games convention on and all my friends are going" He tells me in a quiet voice as if he is afraid I would say no.

I would prefer to go camping and not spend the weekend in the city, where the smallest noises startle me, but I'd rather have him having a good time and me scared all weekend, than him having a bad time. After all I only get to see him a few days a month and I want him to be excited to see me, not dreading to spend time with me.

"Well then it is settled. I am sure we can convince Uncle Miles to go too" I tell him with a smile. The driver of the car behind me honks the horn and I am being transported to a different place in my mind.

"_Hey Monroe?" Gunnery Sergeant Christopher 'Nutter' Nash questions as he pokes his head into the tent._

"_Yeah?" I reply and look up from Charlie's letter._

"_ETD five minutes" He informs me and I nod._

_I grab my gear and get Max out of his cage. Max is a dog, trained to sniff out Bombs and landmines. This is only my second tour and we have done some great work together._

_Half an hour later we arrive at our destination and all scramble out. We are 100 klicks west from Zarghun Shahr in a small village close to the Pakistani border. We have been coming here for the past couple of days to look for Landmines, so far we haven't found much. The people here are a bit wary of us, but yet friendly and the kids love our dogs._

_We walk towards the edge of the village and start looking. A few kids are playing hide and seek outside, smiling and laughing, while the women watch over them. Suddenly two kids, about five years old decide to hide in a nearby field while the a older kid counts down. Max starts barking and I try to stop them from going in there, but it is too late._

_One of the boys steps onto a landmine and it explodes, killing both boys instantly. My ears are ringing from the explosion and the village people start running towards the field…_

A small hand touches my shoulder, bringing me out of my dark thoughts. "Dad it is green" Alex says and points towards the traffic light. I just nod, turn back around and just make the yellow light.

My heart is beating fast and I try to get my breathing under control, by taking deep breaths, but as that doesn't work, I quickly pull up on the side of the road and get out of the car. "Dad, are you okay?" My six year old son questions and looks out the window.

I am standing there next to my truck, with my hands resting on my thighs and my head hanging low to get myself under control again. "Yeah Buddy, I am okay." I pull back into an upright position and ruffle his hair. I get a weird look from people passing us, but I just glare at them. "But let's keep this between us okay? Don't want to worry Uncle Miles or your mom!"

"Okay" Alex says and then adds "Can we get some ice cream?"

"Yeah Bud, later" I say as I hop back into the car.

* * *

**Loved it? Hated it?…leave a comment!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note**

**Thank you very much for all the comments, they mean a lot to me and they are a great encouragement to keep going.**

**Stay tuned!**

* * *

**Charlie's POV**

I sigh as I close the door behind me. I have a whole weekend without Alex ahead of me and I already miss him.

On my way to the living room I grab myself another cup of coffee. Like every morning I glance at the unsigned divorce papers on top of the Living room table and like every morning I can't bring myself to put my signature on the dotted line.

It has been three month and I haven't even taken of my wedding ring, except for work. I guess that part of me is still holding out hope that we can work out our differences, that he will fight for us, but nothing has happened yet and I am unsure if it ever will.

I sigh again and make my way to the couch. It's my day off and I don't know what to do with myself. Just as I get comfortable, my phone rings and I fish it out of my pocket to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hey Charlie, I am sorry to disturb you, but can you come into work? Nigel has called in sick and I can't reach anyone else" Nora Clayton, my best friend and co-worker replies.

"No worries, I am on my way." I assure her, before hanging up. In record time I get dressed for work and I am actually quiet happy to have something to do. I would go stir crazy in this empty house.

* * *

I park in the Employees parking lot at Train and Rescue and get out. Nora just stepped out and is greeting me with a big smile. "I am glad you could come in. It has been a crazy day!" She says and lights her cigarettes.

"No worries. Bass has Alex and I have nothing better to do" I answer.

"He is in the city?" Nora questions with a raised eyebrow and a stony face. Nora and Bass never got along and it was mutual dislike on first sight.

"Yeah, he got back yesterday" I reply and make my way towards the front door. "I will see you in there!" I get a nod from her and I enter our office.

Train and Rescue is a company which specializes in rescuing animals and training dogs for the Police. I actually graduated with a Major in Business from the University of Chicago, but couldn't find a job. I had a family to support and we weren't getting by with only Bass' s contractor salary. The owner, Mr. Darren Clayton is my mother's neighbor and Nora's dad. He approached me, asking if I could clean cages for him every day for a couple of hours.

Six years down the road I am still here. I slowly moved up the ranks, from cage cleaning to dog training and Animal rescue. I really like the work and don't want to go back into the world of business. I can't imagine being stuck behind a desk for the rest of my working life. This job gets me out and about and Alex loves coming here after school and play with the dogs.

"Hey Charlie" Kayla waves, from her office as I walk past. She is a lovely 53 year old African American woman, who loves fluorescent hair and nail colors. Even though she is the nicest person in the world, she runs this office with a drill sergeants attitude and you really don't want to get on her bad side. We all like to keep her happy, because her angry side is quiet scary.

I wave back at her and make my way to the back yard, where Ninja, a German Sheppard, has her house. Ninja is our office dog. Visiting her is the first thing I do when I get to work, and she knows that I always have treats in my pockets.

Just as I reach her, Mason, a student who works for us part time, shouts "Charlie we have a call!" I nod at him and pat Ninja on her head.

"Sorry girl, duty calls, but you and me will have some one on one time later on" I assure her and throw a dog biscuit in the air. Ninja jumps and catches it. With one last pat on her head I make my way to the Rescue car.

* * *

"Hey, we are from Train & Rescue. You called about an escaped snake?" Mason says as we get to the front desk of Tom Neville's Insurance Agency.

"Good that you are here…That thing is a monster... Really big and scary" The blond receptionist informs us and guides us towards the back of the office.

I groan inwardly. Big Snakes and I don't get along that well. Every time I am in the vicinity of one, they seem to get aggressive.

"I will handle it. You just hold the bag" Mason says and I shoot him a grateful look. I was bitten once by a rattlesnake in my own back yard. I didn't see it as I was clearing away weed and it bit into my forearm. Thankfully Bass was home that day and he was able to catch the snake and drive me to the hospital in time.

We walk into the room that the receptionist motioned to and I nearly start to laugh. It is a small Scarlet King snake and isn't big and scary at all. Scarlet Kingsankes are not venomous and get up to 1 meter long, but this one is only about 30 centimeters, far from the monster the secretary described.

We quickly remove the snake and bag it. On our way out of the office someone behind us calls "Charlie?" and I turn around and come face to face with my high school crush Jason Neville. "I thought it was you. What are you doing here?"

"Hey Jason" As he shoots me a smile, I blush a little more. "I rescued a snake from the good people of this office."

"I needed saving…" I hear the secretary mumble, before she makes her way back to the front desk.

"That snake must have been bored to death with all that insurance talk!" Jason replies with a small smirk.

"JASON" I hear a voice shout from another office and seconds later Tom Neville comes through the door. "You got those files?"

"Yes, dad!" Jason looks at his dad before looking back at me. "Dad, this is Charlie Matheson, we went to high school together."

"Ahh you are the Ben's kid, right?" Tom questions.

"Yes I am" I have to wince slightly at my maiden name. And I feel a pang of guilt that I didn't correct him.

"Ah how is he?" the older Neville probes further.

"Actually he died a few years back." I look over my shoulder and see Mason waiting for me. "I am sorry but I have to go. It was nice to meet you Mr. Neville; good to see you Jason." I shake hands with both and then walk out.

I don't really like talking about my father's death. I was at school when it happened. My Dad had worked the whole night through and was just on his way home, when his car was high-jacked and he was shot. First responders didn't get there quickly enough and he died on the way to the hospital.

They found the high-jacker a couple of months later and he is now serving life sentence without parole. I was 15 and the last thing I told my Dad that he was ruining my life, because he didn't want to let me go to a Party that was happening that weekend.

"Hey Charlie" Jason calls after me and as I turn around I see him coming with long strides towards me.

"Yeah?" I question.

"Uhm… Are you free tomorrow night? If so, would you maybe want to get some dinner with me to catch up?" He asks and my heart stops. _Jason Neville is asking me out!_

"Uhm… Can I call you?" I say and he immediately hands me his card.

"My private mobile number is on the back." Jason replies and then turns around to walk back inside.

The rest of our shift is very busy. We go from one call to the next and don't catch a break. 10 hours later I finally get to go home and fall straight into bed.

* * *

"Hey mom" Alex says as he calls me the next morning.

"Hey… How are you?" I question and push myself further up in bed. A look at the clock tells me it's 10.30 am and I groan. I slept 12 hours and only woke because my phone was ringing. Today is Sunday and I planned on doing some yard work and get the washing done.

"I am good. Guess what?" Alex replies enthusiastically.

"What darling?" What ever he has to tell me it must big something good.

"We are going to the Comic and Games convention today. Tyler and Darryl are coming too, even Uncle Miles said he will join us" I can almost hear him bouncing up and down of excitement and smile. I wanted to take him, but since this is the only weekend Bass is home, I wanted Alex to spend some time with his father.

"Wow, that is great. Are you excited?" I question.

"Yeahhhhhhhh I am" He replies in a loud scream that I have to hold the phone away from my ear. "Oh…wait Mom. Dad wants to talk to you!"

"Okay darling" I tell him.

"Charlie?" Bass's rough voice comes through the speaker.

"Yeah?" I say, trying to get my heart rate back under control. My stupid body betrays me every time I talk to him. I feel like I am 18 again, getting a phone call from the guy I am head over heels for. I still love him and I miss him, but I just cannot continue the way it has been.

"I hope it is okay that I take him, instead of you. He really wanted to go" Bass says in a quiet voice.

"No worries, that is fine. Have fun" I reply.

"Yeah…ughh thanks" He answers and then hangs up. Leaving me looking at the phone in confusion. I didn't even get a 'See ya'.

I go through my morning routine and then gather all the dirty clothes to put them in to the washing machine. As I go through my work pants pockets, I find Jason's card. I totally forgot that he gave this to me.

After debating with myself weather to call him or not, for the better half of an hour, I finally pick up the phone and dial his number.

"Hey Jason?" I question as he picks up "Uhhh… This is Charlotte…uhm Charlie."

"Hey Charlie, here I thought you weren't going to call and I had to track you down." Jason answers and makes me smile.

"Well…sorry about the long wait" I reply, not knowing what else to say.

"So dinner?" He questions.

"You are very persistent…how do you know I am not calling to tell you I can't make it?" I answer in a teasing tone, before I can catch myself.

"You could have easily not called and left me wondering if I lost my charm!" He replies without missing a beat.

I have to laugh out loud at that. "Actually… Can we do Lunch instead?" Lunch isn't as formal as Dinner. And in my head I keep repeating '_It is just a meeting between old friends. It is not a date.'_

"Lunch it is. I will pick you up at 12.30. Can you give me your address?" Jason replies and I rattle of my address before hanging up.

* * *

**Love it? Hated it? Leave a comment!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note**

**Thank you very much for the kind comments, they mean a lot to me **

**Enjoy**

* * *

**Charlie's POV**

"Urgg… I don't know what I was thinking. I can't go on a date!" I tell Nora, who is sitting on the bed next to me. I called her in a panic moment after I hung up with Jason.

"I thought it wasn't a date?" Nora questions with an amused smile.

"It is NOT a date" I reply and get up to inspect my wardrobe again. "And I might as well call and cancel, because I have nothing to wear!"

"It is just Lunch, so you don't need anything formal. Wear your black jeans, flip flops and a nice top." Nora says as she gets up from the bed and comes to a stand next to me. "And you are not going to cancel on him. I have been telling you for the last few weeks, that you need to get out and meet people your own age. I am not saying you should sleep with the guy, just have some fun!"

"Okay…It is just that I haven't been out with someone other than Bass in the last seven years." I sigh and hang my head low. "I feel guilty."

"No need to feel guilty. He hasn't been around and you left him. It is time to move on." Nora replies and starts pulling out clothes for me to try on.

* * *

At exactly 12.30 the doorbell rings. I am glad that Nora was there to help me get dressed, since Jason is also just wearing Jeans and a black button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up. He looks very much like a GQ cover model.

"You look great" He says with a smile and I grab my back from beside the door and step outside. It is a nice, late spring day. The sun is shining and it is about 25 degrees. "Ready to go?"

"Yes" I smile and lock the door. Nora left five minutes ago and in those five minutes I contemplated multiple times weather to cancel or not.

"Good, because I am starving" Jason shoots me another smile and guides me towards his silver BMW M3. I only know that this is an M3, because my mother had it as a company car for a while.

After an un-eventful drive, with some nervous chatter, we pull up at the Blackbird Restaurant on Randolph St. I have heard that this place has the best burger in town _(A/N this is based on a Webside, if someone from Chicago disagrees I am sorry!)_, but never got around to actually come here.

"What have you been up to since high-school?" I question, after we placed our order.

"Well, I travelled through South America for a while and then started working at my Dad's firm, while getting my degree in finance. I graduated last year and now work for the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago." Jason informs me.

"Isn't that a little boring?" I retord.

"Not if you are really into numbers" He replies with a smirk. "What about you?"

"Uhh…well I went to the University of Chicago and got my degree in Business. But started to work part time at Train & Rescue after I had my kid…" I glance at him to gauge his reaction.

"You have a child?" He questions with a bit of surprise.

"Yes, Alex. He is six years old as of Januray 15." I tell him with a smile.

"Wow, congratulation." Jason replies honestly.

"Thank you. He is a pretty smart kid." I reply and in that moment our starters appear and the conversation stops for a few minutes.

"So what happened then?" Jason asks as our soups are taken away.

"Well I finished my degree, but couldn't find a job. So like I said I started part-time at Train & Rescue. And now I can't imagine leaving that place for an Office job." I conclude.

"How did you do University, work and child care? Wasn't that quiet the challenge?" He questions.

"I had help" I tell him. Which is true. I had help, from my mother and Miles. I just don't know how to tell Jason that I am married. "So tell me more about your job!" I say, hoping he will take the hint of a subject change.

Jason ends up telling me all about the challenges of the world of Finance for the rest of the meal.

* * *

"I had a good time" I tell him as he walks me to the front door. "Thank you for Lunch."

"No worries. I had a good time too." Jason replies as I unlock the door. Suddenly his strong hand wraps around my arm, he spins me around and his other hand cradles my face. "I already wanted to do this in high-school" Jason whispers and then closes the distance. The kiss is nice and sweet, but comes with a huge amount guilt too.

"Jason…I have to tell you something" I tell him as I push him away.

"What is it?" He questions, as he is running his thump along my lips.

"I am married" I inform him and he immediately pulls away. "But we have been separated since three months."

"That still doesn't change that you are married, Charlie" Jason replies a little harshly. "I…I gotta go. Have a good day."

"You too" I reply and can't help but feel sad, that my first date or lunch meeting or what ever you want to call it turned out like this. But I can't help the fact that I am married. Maybe I should have been honest with him, from the start.

I watch him get back into his BMW and drive off, before I enter the quiet house. I look at the clock and realize it is only 2.30 pm. Still a lot of time in the day left and I have nothing to do.

* * *

"Hey favorite sister in law, how are you?" Connor Bennet's voice rings through the line as I answer the ringing phone. Connor is Bass's half-brother. His Dad had a brief affair with their neighbor as him and Bass's mom were separated for a while. Connor is the result of that affair. His mom dragged him to Mexico and Bass only found out about his 15 years younger half-brother after his entire family was killed in a car crash.

It was a shock at first and but Bass tries his best to stay in touch with Connor, who was 9 at the time. So now whenever Connor is in the area, him and Bass are inseparable.

"I am good how are you?" I question with a smile. "Have they let you back into the country?"

Connor chuckles on the other end. "I am good and yes they have. Even without trouble. Who would have thought a clean shave will help me pass through border control easier?"

"Well you did look a bit like a shady person the last time, so I can't blame them for picking you out of the line" I answer with a laugh as I think of the phone call I received from Border control.

Connor works as a Travel guide. He leads Tours all over South America and often forgets to shave on those trips. He thinks the beards makes him look badass and more grown up. Border Patrol didn't quite like his look and called me for verification that I know him. Not only his look but him on Border Patrol's radar, but also the fact that he travels to Mexcio and back to the states every few months.

"Well this time I didn't want them giving me a full cavity search, so I shaved!" Connor sighs and I can hear that he is grinning. "On another note, I am in town for a week and really like to crash on your couch again, since Miles's couch is occupied."

"By whom?" I find myself asking.

"You don't know?" He replies.

"What?" I question confused.

"Bass is sleeping there!" Connor replies.

"Oh…okay. Well then come on over. I will be here all day." I tell him. On one hand I am surprised that Bass isn't sleeping in our house, on the other hand I am not.

* * *

_Flashback_

"_Why are you not staying at the house?" I question._

"_Babe, it feels empty without you guys. And starring at the walls and our pictures makes me miss you guys even more" My husband informs me over the phone._

"_Bass…" I sigh and in the background I hear Miles telling his best friend to grow a pair, which has me laughing out loud._

"_You just laugh. This isn't funny." Bass replies._

"_Bass, we are only gone for a two days" I reply. Alex and I are visiting My brother in New York and Bass couldn't come, because he is training for his new job._

"_Two days too long" Bass mutters and makes me laugh again._

_End of Flashback_

* * *

"I will be over tonight" Connor assures me, bringing me out of the past and back into the present.

"Okay I will see you then" I tell him and we hang up.

My eyes fall onto a picture, taken when we just started dating seven years ago. I am running away from Bass, who has a water gun in his hands and is chasing me towards the cameraman. We both are spotting huge grins. This was taken by Miles after a baseball game and it is one of my favorite pictures of the two of us.

With a sigh I move up the stairs to get the stuff for the fold out couch, trying to put thoughts about our past out of my mind.

**Loved it? Hated it? Leave a comment **


End file.
